Well for those of you that don't know me personally, I will tell you about where I am in the process of getting to be with my husband...
He left in March to go to his first duty station. In Italy! We were suppose to go to Fort Bragg in NC but the day before he was to leave they told him that his orders were cancelled. For a whole day Richard had no clue where they were going to send him. Then they finally told him that he was going to be shipped to Italy. When he told me the news I had mixed emotions... I was extremely excited, nervous, kinda sad because it's so far away from my family, lets just say it was a bittersweet moment. (I have a lot of those moments, hints the title of my blog.) So he got to spend two weeks with me before he was sent overseas. Those two weeks were the fastest two weeks of my life. I felt like we didn't even get to spend time with just each other. We spent a lot of time with his family which was more than fine because we had a lot fun visiting with all of them but I still hated that I felt like he wasn't even there... He had been gone for so long with basic training and all that and I just wanted him there with me.
Now the whole process the Army has me go thru takes too dang long and it aggravates me. I had to get my military i.d. I had to get all sorts of papers signed by my doctor and sent over to Italy. I had to get my passport. I had to get Ellie (my pup) microchipped and get her a passport. I had to get this and that and this and that. Now we have all we need EXCEPT probably the most important part... Command Sponsorship. Which you have to have to do everything pretty much... Have to have it to send my household goods, my car, get my visa, the list goes on and on! We just need that and then HOPEFULLY its smooth sailing from there.
I have not been the most cheerful person thru all of this... I have had many depressing moments where all I wanna do is cry. I have had moments where I am so angry I wanna hit somebody. Let's just say that I am not the most patient person in the world, but things in the army world are so difficult and for a girl who has never had to wait for anything ... well its hard. I have been married almost 6 months to the man of my dreams and out of those 6 months I have been with him less than 3 weeks. HARD. I know that I am waiting for a reason. I find myself asking God "why?" a lot lately. I still don't really know the answer but I know that He has it all planned out. I know that He is looking out for both of us. He is making me a stronger person even if I can't see it sometimes. My relationship with God is not necessarily in the best shape... And I can blame only one person... ME. I have not went to the Lord for many of my problems and He should be the first I go to. It has gotten better the past couple of weeks. He is building me back up strong and confident. I love the way God never leaves us even though we leave Him so many times in our lives. But He knows what crap we have to go thru. He knows we have to cry. He wants us to cry. I just thought about one of my weakest moments. It literally just happened last week. I had never in my life felt so alone and I realized that I wasn't alone at all. So I said to myself "I need to change." I needed to stop complaining and give it all up to the Man upstairs. I was in my room one night and I just fell to my hands and knees and cried out to God. I told Him that I knew He had it under control, but to give me strength and patience to get thru this. He did. He loves me. So as I wait on the command sponsorship, I will enjoy the time I have left here with my family and the few true friends I have. The Lord has been more than good to me. I don't deserve what He has done for me but He does it out of LOVE and I appreciate Him so much for that. My life isn't the perfect life, but thank goodness to that because that would be boring! I like my life just the way it is. Sure I miss my other half like never before, but I know there will come a day when I look back at this chapter of our love story and think about how it was all totally worth it. I love my Lord more than words could explain. He is my Rock. And I thank Him everyday for giving me the man of my dreams. My God is the 1st love of my life and Richard is the 2nd love of my life. Richard is my world. And God... well He does make the world go 'round.
XO Meg
